This life is full of a lot of heartache and disappointment. One of the hardest things I have seen people go though is divorce. Not only because two people who use to love each other seem to not be able to work out their differences, but because this split has lasting consequences on each person involved and they may never be able to get over it.
I was reading about step families and the struggles that come when divorced parents remarry. It is hard on the kids, and the the new couple. There is a lot of baggage that then comes to the marriage that needs to be worked though and rarely is. Many people just want to move on and forget about the struggles of the past. But if they do not work though some of these issues and explore this baggage with their new spouse and themselves, they are likely to experience the same problems again.
No fault divorce has made it possible to end a marriage contract with out having to able to the quart about the reasons. This makes legal marriage kind of an interesting idea because the contract cant be broken and there are no promises or covenants being made, so what is the point in entering into a marriage? Perhaps this is why some many people choose not to now. You can exist a contract simply because you were bored. No other contract I know of is ever like this.
I am sorry if me talking about marriage like a contract in anyway makes you feel like I do not think it is beautiful and sacred union. I do believe marriage is so important and something we should strive to enter and be in our whole lives. There is a power that comes from combining our life with someone else, and working though life's challenges at a loved ones side. I just bring up these questions because I am sad at the way marriage is viewed and treated today.
I think that asking ourselves what it really means and why it is important will help us enter into marriages we will strive to stay in. I know that sometimes mistakes are made, and people change, and there really does need to be a divorce, because it is what is best for all the family. But I also read heard from a family therapist, that every divorced family he has ever worked with, that was not dealing with abuse, or neglect, said that they should have and could have worked out their differences and stayed in the marriage. Most people regret divorce.
I hope that some of the family topics I mentioned in earlier blogs, can help us be more mindful of the work that goes into healthy families. Notice that I did not say happy families. Even the most well functioning families with have hard times, but in thew end their hard work will allow happiness and peace in. Let us all work though our baggage and see look for how we can change, even our attitudes about marriage from the start. My prayer is that marriage becomes more important to each of us individually and as a whole so that we can all have more functional places to call home, and more support from family in our lives.
